It has been a really frustrating day so far. Last night both me and my husband had a big fight. It was a very simple issue but it kinda got out of hand. It was time for my injections and usually DH gives me my shots every evening. I filled up the syringe and then I told him to close the blinds and he said that it was not necessary as it was quite bright outside. I still felt bad and I told him that I want the blinds closed. I guess I said it quite harshly and he got so mad. He said that I have been yelling at him for everything lately. I lost it too and I said that I would do the injection myself. I took it from him, went to my bedroom and gave myself the injection and then started crying. I guess it was not about the fight but was mainly about the fact that I have to go through so much everyday. IF does take its toll and maybe both me and my DH are stressed and are taking it out on each other.
I wish he was a little more understanding. I usually do well with the injections and it doesn't hurt much so he thinks that these injections are no big deal. It is a huge deal to me. Last week when I told him that I will have to do ganirelix injections along with menopur so that would be two shots a day he shrugged it off saying it would hardly hurt. Little does he know that it hurts maybe little physically but a lot emotionally.
This morning I went to my ultrasound with a heavy heart and my ultrasound was pretty disappointing. I have one follicle at 8mm on the left ovary and 2 at 8 and 7 at the right ovary. I have been on the injections for 8days now and no significant growth yet. In fact the right one measured at 9mm, 3 days ago. The nurse who spoke to me after the ultrasound was surprised that they did not have me double the dose on Friday because my estrogen was only at 40. The only good news was that my lining looked good and measure at 7.2mm. I cried the whole way back to work (30min) and am still pretty depressed.
Anyway my estrogen level for today was at 57 and so they have decided to double my dosage. I will be doing 150IU of Menopur for 3 days and go back for an ultrasound on Thursday. The medications have cost me 1100$ so far and if I go the IUI way then that's another 600$. I wish this cycle eventually works out but honestly I am so low now that I don't have any hope at all.
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3 comments:
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I'm barely holding onto my own sanity right now through all of this. It is so emotionally draining. My husband's way of dealing with it is to not deal with it. The other day we were starting to have a conversation about it and he just said "I have to stop talking about it because it's making me sad." He rolled over and went to sleep and I just wanted to smack him. I need him to be sad and overwhelmed with this along with me. So frustrating.
:::hugs:::
I am so sorry to hear this. In our class they talked about hormones literally make the woman into something she totally normally wouldn't be - and how the guy just needs to hug her and tell her he loves her. My clinic has a social worker to talk to when things get rough. Not sure if that's an option for you, but I'm probably going to be calling them.
I hope your follicles grow!!
**HUGS**
I am so sorry. I remember feeling the same way when we were doing injections. Because the IF is because of me...I am the one going through all of the treatments, shots, dr. appts., pills, pokes, prods etc. While DH does his business in a cup and is on his merry way.
This just isn't fair! I also know all too well how a cycle with little/no follicle growth feels. They just plain suck! I am sending big ((HUGS)) your way!
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