Monday, September 8, 2008

Cycle 4 - CD24 - 5DPO

My husband gave me the first HCG booster shot last Friday. I get my second one today. I get headaches and mild nausea after the shots and it lasts for about 2 days. The only good thing about these shots is that it does not hurt. I hardly feel the prick so I don't mind getting these shots.

Symptom wise I have none. That does not mean I not hopeful about this cycle. It just means I am crazy and will continue to hope till I get a negative blood test or AF. I have about 10 more days before either of this happens. Last night my husband told me that one of his friend's wife is pregnant. We know the couple pretty well and we have hanged out with them a lot. The thing that got to me is that they had their first kid just this January. Can you believe it. She gives birth and 4 months later she is pregnant again. I am happy for her but sad and hurt at the same time. God is so unfair at times. Another thing I noticed is pregnancy news in the first half of my cycle does not affect me as much as the ones in the second half of the cycle. First half I am full of optimism and positive thoughts whereas second half I am doubtful and hopeful at the same time (read already crazy). I don't think I can go visit them or talk to her till I start my next cycle.

I have been feeling really down and depressed since this morning. It could be because of a lot of things but IF is the only thing on my mind. Weekends I keep myself busy with all the stitching needed for my quilting class and since I am doing that like a maniac I finish it pretty fast. So I went and bought some fabric for table cloth, place mats and napkins. I am planning to start this project soon. I wish next week was here already.

2 comments:

I Believe in Miracles said...

It seems like nothing is as painful as waiting for time to pass for the next step to happen.
I hope this week flies by for you!!

Anonymous said...

I too feel your pain - I have been trying to comceive for 5 years.
I would like to just say that I don't think it is God that is witholding a child from you - he allows life to play out however, and watch our responses to the natural ebbs and flows of life, so please don't feel that he loves you less...remember that the sun shines on the righteous and the wicked alike - he allows the wicked to conceive - but I DO know how you feel esp when people say things like "God has blessed you with children" Many barren women in the scriptures gave birth to prophets - I don't even think it is a test - I think its just a medical condition - I know many people say you just need to relax and have faith - and people they know who've adopted then became pregnant etc etc... but these people haven't got a clue and have no true empathy for a sensitive sunject close to our hearts - and its just not as simple as all that - we need to get professional help and make things happen by doing everything we can on our part - that IS how God can help us - so...baby dust to you! I hope this is the year for both of us