Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Cycle2, CD35, 15DPO -- BFN

My progesterone on 7DPO was 10. Most of my hopes for this cycle ended there. And 2 nights ago I had some cramping before bedtime and AF started in the middle of the night. So now I am on CD2 of the next cycle but we have decided to take a break. My DH has been on a vitamin regime since Sep15 (because of 1% morphology from his SA). Hopefully we go back in 2-3 months and do another SA. If his morphology does not improve by then, IVF is our only option. I have had a migraine everyday for the past 10days and too much stress and tension with DH. I think I need a break from all of this. Sometimes I feel that I need a break from DH too. He just does not get it. He says all the wrong things at the wrong times and I feel that he is very insensitive to what I am going through. He does share a lot of work load at our home, but still we end up arguing and fighting for every single thing. Next week is my birthday and I turn 32 years old. Being pregnant would have been the best bday gift for me this year but its not happening. I've decided to give myself this week to mourn and then get back to normalcy by next week. My DD does make all of this a lil easy on me. She is in a phase where she wants only me all the time and keeps showering me with kisses, hugs and I love you's.
We have huge decisions to make in the next few months, as insurance does not cover any of this. Typical IUI cycle costs us about 2.5k-3k and IVF would cost us 15k-18k. We might be able to afford one IVF cycle but after that its going to be hard. Also just last night DH announced that if we did IVF he will only agree to put back a single embryo. I am too drained and tired and depressed to even argue with him anymore. Hopefully the next SA will bring us some much needed good news.