Last evening as usual I was down with a bad migraine and was lying down in a dark room. My husband comes in lies next to me, hugs me and says "I don't want you to suffer so much. I don't want kids". I wanted to burst into tears and tell him that because he cares so much and he is so loving it gives me all the more reason to want to have his kid. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. I have read in many blogs that slowly IF begins to take a toll in a relationship. Thankfully so far it has just made us closer and stronger. I hope it stays this way forever.
Today morning I had a mild brown discharge which usually happens to me before AF. I am thinking that it should start tomorrow or day after. I will be moving on to injectables now.
Showing posts with label Cycle 4. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cycle 4. Show all posts
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD33 - 14DPO - BFN
Sorry I have been missing lately because I have been having terrible migraines. I have a headache almost everyday. The first half of the cycle I get migraines because of the fertility meds (either clomid or femara) and the second half I get migraines because of the low progesterone levels. This month my progesterone level was at 15 and was much better than the last 2 cycles (5 and 2). The doctors office told me that 15 was on the low end of their accepted levels but still a good number considering my history. So that was enough reason for me to be extra hopeful. My nurse had asked me to test on Friday at 16DPO because of the HCG booster shots that I got during my LP. Like always I gave in to temptation and POAS today and it was a BFN. I also feel like I am going to start AF anytime now.
It would be a lie to say that I am not disappointed. The thing that hurts the most is my husband who never talks about pregnancy during the 2ww kept telling me that this cycle it would work. I feel sad that I failed him one more time. It really hurts to crush his hope down. I am going to keep myself really busy and wait to start the next cycle soon.
It would be a lie to say that I am not disappointed. The thing that hurts the most is my husband who never talks about pregnancy during the 2ww kept telling me that this cycle it would work. I feel sad that I failed him one more time. It really hurts to crush his hope down. I am going to keep myself really busy and wait to start the next cycle soon.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD24 - 5DPO
My husband gave me the first HCG booster shot last Friday. I get my second one today. I get headaches and mild nausea after the shots and it lasts for about 2 days. The only good thing about these shots is that it does not hurt. I hardly feel the prick so I don't mind getting these shots.
Symptom wise I have none. That does not mean I not hopeful about this cycle. It just means I am crazy and will continue to hope till I get a negative blood test or AF. I have about 10 more days before either of this happens. Last night my husband told me that one of his friend's wife is pregnant. We know the couple pretty well and we have hanged out with them a lot. The thing that got to me is that they had their first kid just this January. Can you believe it. She gives birth and 4 months later she is pregnant again. I am happy for her but sad and hurt at the same time. God is so unfair at times. Another thing I noticed is pregnancy news in the first half of my cycle does not affect me as much as the ones in the second half of the cycle. First half I am full of optimism and positive thoughts whereas second half I am doubtful and hopeful at the same time (read already crazy). I don't think I can go visit them or talk to her till I start my next cycle.
I have been feeling really down and depressed since this morning. It could be because of a lot of things but IF is the only thing on my mind. Weekends I keep myself busy with all the stitching needed for my quilting class and since I am doing that like a maniac I finish it pretty fast. So I went and bought some fabric for table cloth, place mats and napkins. I am planning to start this project soon. I wish next week was here already.
Symptom wise I have none. That does not mean I not hopeful about this cycle. It just means I am crazy and will continue to hope till I get a negative blood test or AF. I have about 10 more days before either of this happens. Last night my husband told me that one of his friend's wife is pregnant. We know the couple pretty well and we have hanged out with them a lot. The thing that got to me is that they had their first kid just this January. Can you believe it. She gives birth and 4 months later she is pregnant again. I am happy for her but sad and hurt at the same time. God is so unfair at times. Another thing I noticed is pregnancy news in the first half of my cycle does not affect me as much as the ones in the second half of the cycle. First half I am full of optimism and positive thoughts whereas second half I am doubtful and hopeful at the same time (read already crazy). I don't think I can go visit them or talk to her till I start my next cycle.
I have been feeling really down and depressed since this morning. It could be because of a lot of things but IF is the only thing on my mind. Weekends I keep myself busy with all the stitching needed for my quilting class and since I am doing that like a maniac I finish it pretty fast. So I went and bought some fabric for table cloth, place mats and napkins. I am planning to start this project soon. I wish next week was here already.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD20 - 1DPO
Like always I did not ovulate on my own. So Tuesday morning I went for an ultrasound and the right dominant follicle was measuring at 26mm and the remaining were all small. The lining was measuring at 10.8mm. Before I could feel happy about my follicle update the nurse came in to tell me that they were out of HCG trigger shots. She tried calling a couple of places but no luck. Finally she wanted me to go to their main office which is about 50miles away. She called to let them know that I am on my way as they were holding on to the one single trigger shot that they had left. I would have gone crazy if they didn't have any left for me.
Eventually I went there and got my trigger shot at 2 in the afternoon. The nurse told me that I will be ovulating sometime during Wednesday night. She advised me to have sex Wednesday night, Thursday morning and night. We had sex last night but were not able to this morning. It was really weird to get up early and do it before work. We tried but couldn't. We will be doing it tonight and I hope that it would make up for this morning mishap. Either way I am officially 1dpo and I get to start my HCG booster shots from tomorrow for low progesterone. I need to get 3 HCG booster shots on 08/05, 08/08 and 08/11. I go back to the clinic on Sep10 for my progesterone check.
I hope that everything works out fine this cycle and it gives me the BFP that I've been wanting for a long time. Wish me luck.
Eventually I went there and got my trigger shot at 2 in the afternoon. The nurse told me that I will be ovulating sometime during Wednesday night. She advised me to have sex Wednesday night, Thursday morning and night. We had sex last night but were not able to this morning. It was really weird to get up early and do it before work. We tried but couldn't. We will be doing it tonight and I hope that it would make up for this morning mishap. Either way I am officially 1dpo and I get to start my HCG booster shots from tomorrow for low progesterone. I need to get 3 HCG booster shots on 08/05, 08/08 and 08/11. I go back to the clinic on Sep10 for my progesterone check.
I hope that everything works out fine this cycle and it gives me the BFP that I've been wanting for a long time. Wish me luck.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD14 - Follicle update
After my ultrasound on Wednesday my nurse gave me instructions to be on the Femara for 3 more days (till Saturday) and to come for an ultrasound on Friday just to make sure things are progressing correctly. In today's ultrasound we were all happy to see a follicle at 15mm on the right ovary. The remaining one on right and 3 on left are all in the 8-9mm range. So I get to stop Femara today which is one day early. I am glad cause I have been having a migraine everyday for the past 10 days. Now I start peeing on the OPK's from Sunday and if I do not see a surge then I go back for an ultrasound on Tuesday and possible trigger shot. Since I have never surged on my own in the past, I am thinking that I will be most likely needing the trigger shot. Again since I have just one follicle I am not going for an IUI this cycle.
I am happy that the femara has worked a little better for me than clomid. I think injectables are better because ovulating on day 19 is still late and having just one follicle after 12days of fertility medication is also not so promising.
In another news, I went to meet a pregnant friend at the hospital yesterday. I have known the couple only for a few months and this is their second pregnancy but they are a really sweet couple and her water broke 2 days ago. It was only 35weeks for her so she was hospitalized and they were hoping that she would be able to keep in the baby for at least till 36weeks. Both me and my husband went to wish them well and offer any help that they needed. This morning we got a call that she went into labor early this morning and had a healthy baby boy. I am going to visit her again this afternoon and have already volunteered to make dinner for them for tomorrow. While coming back from this morning's ultrasound I had some time to think and was wondering what was different in this friend's pregnancy that it is not hurting me as usual. Maybe it is because I am not too close to her or maybe because I am crazily busy at work and do not have time to sit and worry or crib or maybe because I am in the middle of this cycle and thinking positive thoughts already. Either way I was happy that I am not feeling negative about this. I am not sure though, if I would feel the same way after seeing the baby this evening. I really wish well for the couple and the kids but it might hurt me a teeny tiny bit. I hope God forgives me for this.
I am happy that the femara has worked a little better for me than clomid. I think injectables are better because ovulating on day 19 is still late and having just one follicle after 12days of fertility medication is also not so promising.
In another news, I went to meet a pregnant friend at the hospital yesterday. I have known the couple only for a few months and this is their second pregnancy but they are a really sweet couple and her water broke 2 days ago. It was only 35weeks for her so she was hospitalized and they were hoping that she would be able to keep in the baby for at least till 36weeks. Both me and my husband went to wish them well and offer any help that they needed. This morning we got a call that she went into labor early this morning and had a healthy baby boy. I am going to visit her again this afternoon and have already volunteered to make dinner for them for tomorrow. While coming back from this morning's ultrasound I had some time to think and was wondering what was different in this friend's pregnancy that it is not hurting me as usual. Maybe it is because I am not too close to her or maybe because I am crazily busy at work and do not have time to sit and worry or crib or maybe because I am in the middle of this cycle and thinking positive thoughts already. Either way I was happy that I am not feeling negative about this. I am not sure though, if I would feel the same way after seeing the baby this evening. I really wish well for the couple and the kids but it might hurt me a teeny tiny bit. I hope God forgives me for this.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD12 - Femara
I have been taking 2 of the 2.5mg tablets of femara starting from CD3. I have the same side effects as clomid (hot flashes, insomnia and migraines) but it only lasts for half a day. Femara also causes yeast infections. The cost of Femara is much higher than clomid. It is not as expensive as injectables but it cost me 165$ for 14 tablets (2.5mg each) whereas the clomid cost me 30$ for 21 tablets (50mg each).
Today in my ultrasound there was one dominant 11mm follicle on the right ovary and 2 smaller 9mm follicles. On the left there was just one 9mm follicle. If you look at my previous cycle my follicles reached the 11mm size only on CD18. So I guess femara is a little better than clomid for me, but I am still not happy with the idea of taking femara for a long time and having a delayed ovulation. My lining was at 6.1mm and the nurse assured me that it was fine. The nurse wanted to consult with the doc before deciding on how many more days I continue the femara. Most likely she said that it would be either 2 or 3 more days. I would be ovulating mid to end of next week (around CD19-21). I think this is better than last cycle where I ovulated on CD30.
Work is very very busy and so I have not read most of your blogs in the past couple of days. Will try to finish reading by the weekend. In another news I am planning on joining a quilting class that starts this Friday. This is just to keep me busy and distracted from the IF world. I have never used a sewing machine before so after lots of consultation with my friends I bought a Janome 8077 sewing machine from Hancock fabrics over the weekend. Currently I am practising to sew in straight lines. Will keep you guys updated regarding my sewing expeditions too.
Today in my ultrasound there was one dominant 11mm follicle on the right ovary and 2 smaller 9mm follicles. On the left there was just one 9mm follicle. If you look at my previous cycle my follicles reached the 11mm size only on CD18. So I guess femara is a little better than clomid for me, but I am still not happy with the idea of taking femara for a long time and having a delayed ovulation. My lining was at 6.1mm and the nurse assured me that it was fine. The nurse wanted to consult with the doc before deciding on how many more days I continue the femara. Most likely she said that it would be either 2 or 3 more days. I would be ovulating mid to end of next week (around CD19-21). I think this is better than last cycle where I ovulated on CD30.
Work is very very busy and so I have not read most of your blogs in the past couple of days. Will try to finish reading by the weekend. In another news I am planning on joining a quilting class that starts this Friday. This is just to keep me busy and distracted from the IF world. I have never used a sewing machine before so after lots of consultation with my friends I bought a Janome 8077 sewing machine from Hancock fabrics over the weekend. Currently I am practising to sew in straight lines. Will keep you guys updated regarding my sewing expeditions too.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Cycle 4 - CD3
Finally I have moved on to the next cycle. AF arrived on Saturday making the previous cycle almost 60days long. I went in for my day 3 baseline ultrasound and blood tests. Everything looked normal at the ultrasound. I have 12 follicles on the right ovary and 24 on the left. With PCOS I guess having so many follicles is normal. I get my blood test results tomorrow and if everything is normal then I start Femara on Wednesday.
I get to take 2 of the 2.5mg tablets during CD5 - CD11 and go back for ultrasound on CD12. Only the ultrasound will decide if I have to continue taking the tablets. I think 5mg is the maximum dosage available so if I don't respond to this then we move on to injectables.
I also need to get an endoscopic sinus surgery done. Lately my sinus problems have gotten worse and the doctor I saw 2 weeks ago strongly recommended surgery. He said that it would be an 1 hr outpatient procedure and I would be asleep for it. He said recovery is about one weeks time and I can get back to work after that. Me and my husband are thinking that this week would be a good time to get it done. I have a few concerns though.
1. Will Femara affect my surgery?
2. If I ended up ovulating next week on time (CD14- Aug29) then I will not be able to take painkillers for a week after the surgery. (Honestly I don't think that I will ovulate that early)
3. Will my body not respond to Femara because it would be in trauma?
I so badly want to get the surgery out of the way as I need it badly and I cannot get it done if I get pregnant. Even though I am terrified about this procedure and pain, I am more worried about how it will affect my cycle. It is very frustrating that every aspect of our lives are revolving around IF and even making simple decisions get so complicated. I am waiting to hear back from my sinus doctor to see if they can squeeze me in this week.
I get to take 2 of the 2.5mg tablets during CD5 - CD11 and go back for ultrasound on CD12. Only the ultrasound will decide if I have to continue taking the tablets. I think 5mg is the maximum dosage available so if I don't respond to this then we move on to injectables.
I also need to get an endoscopic sinus surgery done. Lately my sinus problems have gotten worse and the doctor I saw 2 weeks ago strongly recommended surgery. He said that it would be an 1 hr outpatient procedure and I would be asleep for it. He said recovery is about one weeks time and I can get back to work after that. Me and my husband are thinking that this week would be a good time to get it done. I have a few concerns though.
1. Will Femara affect my surgery?
2. If I ended up ovulating next week on time (CD14- Aug29) then I will not be able to take painkillers for a week after the surgery. (Honestly I don't think that I will ovulate that early)
3. Will my body not respond to Femara because it would be in trauma?
I so badly want to get the surgery out of the way as I need it badly and I cannot get it done if I get pregnant. Even though I am terrified about this procedure and pain, I am more worried about how it will affect my cycle. It is very frustrating that every aspect of our lives are revolving around IF and even making simple decisions get so complicated. I am waiting to hear back from my sinus doctor to see if they can squeeze me in this week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)